Hellooo!
I guess I'm back. I dunno why, just felt like a good old fashioned rant... or something. Enda's blog inspired me. I dont have anything in particular to rant about, thankfully, but I'm sure I'll find something!

Bloggity bloggity blog.... Whats going on in my life? well, 4th year is awesome, I have fantastic friends who I love to bits and I'm happy enough being single. (though if life throws someone my way i certainly wont object.....) I'm happy with how I look, for once! I'm training with one of the best singing teachers in munster and I'm now officially a soprano, i just need a bit more training before i'm good at it lol. I'm not boasting or anything, i just think life seems to be going quite well at the moment!

Ok, maybe I am boasting just a little... but really, how often do I get to do that?

We had to choose our subjects for leaving cert recently... It got me thinking about... you know... not being in 4.3 next year. I have to say, I love my class. Its my quality time with Ruthie, and some of the stuff the guys get up to is just so hysterically funny... We may be the forgotten class, but we're definitely the closest, and funniest class in 4th year... Yeah, I decided on biology, art, spanish and chemistry and I'm going to do music outside of school (because I would kill Glancy otherwise... Plus I want to find ways to make her feel inadequate...)

You know what really annoys me? when people take off their socks when they're going to sit down to watch tv. I dont know why. Also when people make that weird exaggerated tasting noise after they drink something...

So i was wondering if i could get your thoughts on something? so i've decided i'm going to do something for the end of year show. I'm thinking I Dreamed a Dream, since it could be my only chance to get to play Fantine. for those who haven't heard it, heres the 10th anniversary vid



I'd do it in costume and act it out as well because well.... Fantine is amazing... seriously, i love her. Her story is that she fell in love with a man and he pretended to be in love with her too, to have his way with her. he stayed with her for a summer, then left her when she realised she was pregnant. She had a child and called her cosette and paid a crooked innkeeper to take care of her while she works in a factory, all the while she still dreams that the man she loved will come back to her. then she gets sacked for lying about having a daughter and she has to become a prostitute to pay for Cosette. She then gets arrested when a man tries to rape her and blames it on her but Jean Valjean insists they take her to a hospital instead because shes obviously malnourished and sick. then she sings come to me to Valjean before she dies, halluncinating that Cosette is there and he promises her that he'll take care of her child. then she dies... and Javert appears and Valjean breaks a chair and then sings "i swear to you..... i will be there..."

Yes i am reliving my night in the West End.

i cannot begin to describe how amazing that musical was, the Valjean was class, and the Eponine was just perfect for the role. It was so amazing, I cried. It wasnt even at a particularly sad scene, i just burst into tears because i was so amazed. I practically felt like getting up and waving a french flag in the air.

I must convert all of you to Les Misism... speaking of which i bought the Original London Cast Recording...

Well i dont have much else to say. I think i might leave it there, i'll try to keep this up!

Michellio

I wish les mis would go away and leave me alone but my god.... I've grown to love that musical!

So its almost 4 am. And I am writing a xanga post. I really don't know why... Hmm this place used to be the place where i'd come when i was feeling like a good old rant or like writing some kind of philosophical nonsense. I was a weird little person two years ago!

Two years. Its been a long time. Its now almost two years after fiddler on the roof. Can you imagine how different our lives would be if we hadn't done that musical? It seems like so far fetched when you think about it: One play changing so many peoples lives. I wish i'd appreciated it more when i had the chance, coz south pacific really cannot compare... It'll probably end up being better performance wise (because apparently it NEEDS to be better, according to Behan) but no one cares about each other as much. Theres no family. Its just a bunch of people trying to get some time under the spotlight.

Two years... I was so different then. I thought i was so old and mature and wise... Its funny now when I think about how young and innocent i actually was. I was the kinda person who thought you could live life from dream to dream... Not ever facing any major pitfalls. Its sad what time does to you in a way... You lose your innocence and the ability to dream wild and crazy dreams. But i guess... what does a dream mean if it can never be achieved... Time makes you realise what can be achieved and what can't. And even though it was living in ignorance, I think I was happier when I didn't know as much.

Two years... And now we're at the end of another one. 2007. What a crazy year. Always branded in my mind as the year life as i knew it changed forever! I had the most amazing time of my life towards the end of 3rd year, dossing class and not paying attention with Michael. Everyone thought we'd fail the JC but we actually did better than a lot of people. All As and Bs! If someone had told me then that i would get a B in maths I would've laughed in their face.

Art projects... Sounds daunting but now i am so glad they exist. If they didnt i wouldn't be friends with Ruth, my art buddy! I think we would've died if we didnt have each other to complain to. And we're better friends this year through TY, since she was just about the only person who i knew in my class at the start of the year! its weird but shes changed me a lot. In a good way. I'm not as scary goth-emo which is always a good thing.

Supervised study was actually some crazy fun too... I got to know Katelyn and Enda a hell of a lot better! Its kinda sad but i used to look forward to those two hours in the evening. And that day we skipped Study, it was one of the last days. That was crazy. Running around the school grounds trying to find something to entertain ourselves with! We ended up playing a game where we'd throw enda's blackberry into the grass and see who could find it first. It was great. haha

Doing the junior cert was actually one of the best times of my life. Everyone told me it would be, but i didnt believe them to be perfectly honest! i guess you cant really believe it untill you've experienced it. Running around the park spraying water at each other, rolling down the tellytubby hills, going crazy with michael, at Enda's with the wig and then going back to religion completely out of it! some of the moments i'll never forget.

Then around that time, i met this guy who i fell completely in love with. Things are different now but it was amazing while it lasted, it really was. For half a year, i was so happy. We had a great summer together and I'm glad we're still friends Alan! :) Around that time I became better friends with Triona too! Which was really great, coz Triona rocks. She really does. She's just like my big sister! I'll never forget those sleepovers we had staying up till all hours talking! must do it again soon :D

Then TY started... I really didn't expect it to have such an impact on our lives but it really has. Its so weird, I could talk to everyone in my class, even the guys at the back who mess up my hair and shout penis a lot. :P 4.3 may be the knacker forgotten class, but we're so close. A few people have actually said to me they wished they were in 4.3 coz we're all friends! You know, around the time of the Portfolio exam i was thinking about TY and what it means to me. Its an extra year to think about life and choose the path you wish to take. Its not a year to see who can get involved in the most and look like the biggest overachiever. Its not a year to run around getting this that and the other done and writing down every thing Mr. Coffey says and its not a year to sit in a classroom and wait for a teacher to tell you what to do. Its about doing things you want to do, getting involved in things you genuinely want to get involved in and starting your adult life and most importantly, having one hell of a year. Going crazy, laughing your head off on a daily basis, perhaps sometimes not playing by the rules, making new friends, becoming closer to old friends: being yourself and becoming the person you will be for the rest of your life. You dont become that person by overloading yourself with committees, competitions, organisations and academia. I dont know, i used to be one of those people who just wanted to create the image that she's an over-achiever and a brilliant perfect worker and the school is so proud blaaaah dee blaaah blaah. But i;ve realised its just not worth it. Its silly when you think about it. Some advice to you all, be who you are... have a good time... get involved in what you're interested in and not just what you think would make you look good... forget about creating an image for yourself because in the end, it just isn't worth it.

The Musical. I mentioned it earlier but i feel i should elaborate! I've become friends with a lot of new people, nothing compared to the people i met during fiddler but still South Pacific is starting to pick up. My character's name is Connie and she's a ditzy nurse with no personality whatsoever. I dont even think I'd call her a character! I really wanted the part of bloody mary but i think Pearl was going to get it from the outset. But Behan told me, on that last fateful audition, that i was a brilliant actress. Full of life and bounce apparently! but that my voice caused problems coz i'm just an alto. bloody mary is an alto part anyway he just wanted to let me down easy methinks. Those auditions at the start of the musical were some laugh... It was the same group of us going back every evening auditioning non-stop for about 2 weeks. One day we all had to make up our own dance to 'I'm Gonna Wash That Man Right Outta My Hair." The guys were so funny. I auditioned for bloody mary so many times i know all of her main scenes off. crummy G.I! Sad sack droopy drawers! (you tell em good mary!) what is good? (tell em they're stingy bastards!) stingy bastards! hehe. You can imagine my disappointment when i was told i was one of the main nurses. Basically the leaders of the chorus. But hey we still have a good time! The musical itself is great. We're having major problems with it right now but the show must go on! Denis and Julianne are actually very good. Them singing Some Enchanted Evening makes me want to cry. How sad is that... haha

Something I really like about this year now are my days out in town with Sarah and Emmie. They're two very good friends to me and i think i would have died without them. Its nice to know that whenever i'm feeling shit they'll be there to bring me out on a girly day so we can make fun of men and just have a laugh. We're absolutely mad...!

Sarah you'll probably read this. I love you! you rock!

So at the end of 2007... I think I can say I am happy. I have been through a lot this year.. a lot has changed.. but its ok. I thought that after losing what i lost, where i was in life a year ago, that i'd never be able to pull myself back up, but i have. I've made some absolutely amazing friends, I was in two brilliant relationships, i developed a whole new obsession for musicals, i've gotten involved in a lot that really interests me through TY and I'm thinking about joining stage school again. (mrs costelloe told me to...) I dont know that much but I know this for sure.

2008 is gonna be one hell of a year :)


Michellio xxx

Its been a while. This probably wont be a proper entry, its late and well i dont really know what i can say here anymore. The past few days have just felt so strange. I dont know how to decribe it... Empty i suppose. You know when you feel like theres a piece of you missing but have no idea what that piece is... Feeling like all the decisions i've made have been bad ones... Feeling like the one person who used to make me feel better when i was feeling like this is so far away now...

We all have a picture of our perfect future. just mine is pretty blurry.. you know sometimes we want to go back to the way things were ages ago just because we were happy and secure then. But if you changed your future you must not have liked the way it was going right? but if i didnt like it, why was i so much happier

Why live life from dream to dream and dread the day when dreaming ends? thats me, living life from dream to dream. everything is a dream. what is reality?

life is a frickin paradox.


Memory
Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun